For the amount of time that I have spent on the internet, I have never been guilty of consciously trolling. Whenever I muster up the courage to post (for instance) my views of why Star Trek: First Contact did not adequately capture the character of Jean-Luc Picard, I have always tried to do so with tact and respect. But a few weeks ago I decided to try it for once in my life. So I began my search for a suitable target. After a five minute look at my Facebook feed I found one: A news site for a certain political party. I won’t tell you which, because I do not want this to be a political piece, just a piece showing what sort of crazy things people say on the internet.
I stretched my fingers, got out my keyboard and prepared to troll.. But with rules. My biggest one was that I was not going to blatantly contradict people’s comments or sayings (an example of this would be people who insist one going onto YouTube videos of Richard Dawkins interviews and insisting that all atheists turn to Jesus) which is no fun for anyone. Maybe I’m just a classy troll.
Some background: The article I chose was about a group of civilian pilots who decided to do their own flyover of an Arlington Funeral as some sort of protest for military budget cuts. I have blotted out the names for privacy.
The first comment I see is:
Oh here we go! I’m going to troll. So I post a little sarcastic comment:
And nobody argued with me! Evidently my comment was too reasonable? Time to step up a little, by cutting back….
Scrolling down a little I find this jewel of internet wisdom:
Ok, I’m all for passive agressive threats, and it takes a certain courage to post threats against high ranking government officials on the internet, but I wonder what the plan is. So I ask:
I was not expecting a reply but [Red box lady] rose to the occasion!
Holy cow! She’s got a plan and whatever she is thinking of is made impossible due to bodyguards. I feel bad for her. Her dreams of revenge are crushed. Because my heart is not completely made of ice and computer components, I offer some consoling words.
Satisfied for that day, I slumped back into my troll cave to prepare to strike again!