Terrible Thursday: Chupacabra vs. The Alamo

Director: Terry Ingram

Starring: Erik Estrada, Julia Benson

Trailer:

Synopsis: After drug cartel members are murdered in Texas, hardcore DEA agent Carlos Sequin is called in to find the killer. Soon, he recognizes that the killers are not human after all, but the legendary chupacabras. With packs of chupacabra running throughout Texas, Sequin and his fellow DEA agents prepare for a last stand at the historical Alamo.

Why is fails: I really try to stay away from these Syfy original movies. Since the viral success of Sharknado, Syfy movies have changed from being accidentally bad to purposefully bad. Bad movies are fun to watch when the makers of the film were trying their hardest to make a good movie and utterly failed. When they set off to fail right from the beginning, the humor is awkward and forced, like a person purposefully falling off a bike for laughs. What is fascinating about Chupacabra vs. The Alamo is that it was obviously written for laughs. The director and screenwriters knew that they were putting together an absurd movie that nobody would take seriously. However, Erik Estrada and the rest of the cast seem to have not gotten the memo. While the director and writers never attempted to make a good movie, the actors they hired seem to be under the delusion that they are making a real movie. Unfortunately, none of them have the skills to lift the purposefully bad material. So Chupacabra vs. The Alamo is stuck in the middle ground where half the participants are attempting to sink the production and the other half are trying to do the best they can. And it is a disaster on all fronts.

Should you watch it?: Like I said, I do not usually recommend Syfy original movies because it feels like a cop-out for a bad movie night. But I would make an exception for Chupacabra vs. The Alamo, if only because it is painfully obvious that Erik Estrada thought that he was making a real movie. Estrada is wonderful to watch. He is taking his role deadly serious and spends the movie chewing scenery and having a good time. I don’t know what the production looked like behind the scenes, and I do not know if anybody told him that this was supposed to be perfectly bad. But I do not care, because his honest acting sincerity in service of a schlock is wonderful to watch. There are some funny scenes in the movie, from hilariously bad CGI to absurd deaths (including a chupacabra attacking a poor partygoers’ genitals). Those parts are great, but in the back of your mind you know that the were intended to be ridiculous. And that is not very fun.

Rating as a real movie: 4/10

Rating as a bad movie: 6/10

 

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